|Small, Medium, Large|
|Producer(s)||Jonathan Ian Mathers|
|Writer(s)||Jonathan Ian Mathers|
|Animators(s)||Jonathan Ian Mathers|
|Previous Episode||Squirrell Banter|
|Next Episode||Foamy Fan Mail IV|
Foamy encounters the world of the trendy cup sizes.
Germaine is waiting at the “Star-Schmucks” counter, there is a blonde guy at the counter, there is a banner which reads “We proudly propagandize: Star-Schmucks Coffee” there is also a menu which reads: Cookie $7.00 Coffee; Tall $3.00, Grande $5.00, Viente $9.00… this is irrelevant, more or less.
- Like Oh my God, welcome to Star-schmucks coffee houses! Ahhh my I take your order? Hello…!
- Ahh yes can I get a Viente white chocolate mocha thingy.
- I want a fucking Large Hazelnut Coffee not that other sucky taste you have… it’s fucking nasty, spare me the under-taste!
- We don’t have “Large”…. Bitch.
- Looking at Germaine
- Ahh excuse me he did not just say he. “didn’t have large?”
- Yeah he did.
- Well what the fuck does that mean? No Large, well what is there?
- No, you see they changed the names of the sizes for the cups of coffee.
- What does that mean!?
- Looook!.. see (grabs a cup) Small is now called “Tall” Medium is now “Grande” and Large is “Vien-tee.”
- Vien-tee? What kind of Nazi speak is that? And how the fuck can a small cup of coffee be called tall!? Forgive my Squirrelly ignorance, but isn’t “small” the opposite of “tall”?
- Ahh yeah, in the real world it is anyway.
- Oh I see what they’re doing! They call “small” “tall” because it makes the customer feel good when they pay $3 for a urine sample sized cup of coffee swill! This way it seems like they are getting more because the word “tall” is stuck into their psyche. I see their psychological marketing trickery! You tricky bastards that’s what you all are! Fucking tricky!
- (Rolls eyes)
- Yeah, whatever.
- Ahhh don’t give me that shit! When was the last time you went to “Taco-Hell” and ordered a taco “grande” and got a medium sized taco.
- And Vien-tee isn’t even a word! It’s some fucking “hoighty toighty phrase used to make people feel more sophisticated when ordering a large coffee so when they part with the $5 for the coffee they don’t feel like a fucking moron.
- Are you saying I’m not sophisticated?
- I’m saying you’re fucking stupid!
- Fuck this shit I can get a “tall” cup of coffee for 50c around the corner!
- But then you don’t get the trendy Star-Schmucks coffee cup that you like carry around like a status symbol…. man.
- You can take a “vien-tee” razor and shove it up your ass, you tall-brained moron I hope you choke on a biscotti!
Ending screen appears.