Non-Holiday Special
Non-Holiday Special - Episode.png
Cast Germaine
Episode 1.33
Running time 2:30
Release date 2003
Producer(s) Jonathan Ian Mathers
Writer(s) Jonathan Ian Mathers
Animators(s) Jonathan Ian Mathers
Previous Episode Foamy's Rant II
Next Episode Foamys Card Cult

Publishers Summary[edit | edit source]

A holiday special about how much holiday specials suck.

Script[edit | edit source]

You know what this is? This is the non-holiday holiday special. Well, what does that mean?
Well, you know every other cartoon that's ever been made, everytime there's a holiday, they make a fucking special. You know, you have the Garfield Halloween Adventure, you have the Peanuts Thanks-Giving thing, and some of the reindeer and the fucking Christmas shit. You know, it's total fucking nonsense.
We here at Neurotically Yours cartoon, are not gonna delve into that kind of crap! So what this is: it's a culmination of all holidays we didn't do special for and we're not gonna do a special for them. If that makes any sense I don't know who's making this up.
It's like what I'm gonna do a Halloween special and then a Christmas special and then a Thanks-Giving special and OOP…ah there’s New Years and then there’s the Easter special.
You know what, one: halloween is cool okay, you can get candy. Thanks-Giving, ahhh. you know, I don't like the whole turkey race, anyway and I guess we’re kinda weeding them out but it's just like a mass suicide bloody-holiday, it's just bloody-bloody. And Christmas, do I really need some fat bastard breaking into my house, leaving some junk underneath my tree. No, thank you. And besides, that's the biggest mass-murder tree holiday ever. I lost several homes because some fucker had to have some Christmas tree outside his fucking trailer park. Piece of crap!
And then there's New Years. "Wow, it's a whole new year."
Just like last year, nobody gives a shit, nobody cares, stop with the fucking specials. It's over.
And all of a sudden fucking April-May rolls around and we're supposed to be worshiping some dumb bunny. Fuck that shit, I take the Easter egg and fucking smash them against his stupid fucking ears. I'm so sick of this crap.
Like the Valentines Day crap. You know, just because some fucking naked baby with wings flying around, shooting people, all of the sudden we're supposed to fall in love.
You know what, first I beat the shit out of the fucking little goofy cherub. I put some clothes on the fucker, first and foremost. Then I take his bow and arrow and I shoot him in the head, about, several or eight times. With the same arrow. Pfffft, um! Goes in, ya pull it out, you fucking re-cock that shit. Foom, you reload the bow and foom! Again. You do it several or eight times and I can guarantee ya, that cherub won't bother you the next time.
Besides, Valentines Day is just a holiday where, you know, the guy acts nice for one day out a year, with the assumption that a girl is gonna sleep with him on that day, just because he went out and bought a five dollar box of chocolate. SO it's kinda like, a legal prostitution thing if you think about it.
Here's some chocolate, sleep with me. Here's some jewelry, sleep with me.
So let that be a lesson to all you women out there too: Valentine's Day is not for you! Okay?!
The guy just turns it this warped holiday, so you'll put out once you see the box of chocolate.
And I don't care if anyone says chocolate is an aphrodisiac, that's fucking bullshit. You see all the people who pack away all that chocolate, they're all fat. Chances are they’re not having any sex anyway. Fat bastards!
So that's about it. Fuck these holidays. This is the last non-holiday special we're ever gonna do. So fuck Halloween, fuck this Thanks Giving crap, fuck this Easter bunny nonsense and that fat bastard with the hoes. We don't need any of that crap here, you know, we're done. It's over.

Germaine eats a chocolate

Yes! Ohhh... hmmm...

Ending screen appears

External Links[edit | edit source]

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