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Hatta's Rant
Cast
Cast Hatta
Production
Episode 3.21
Running time 2:02
Release date 2006
Producer(s) Jonathan Ian Mathers
Writer(s) Jonathan Ian Mathers
Animators(s) Jonathan Ian Mathers
Chronology
Previous Episode Exotic Chocolates
Next Episode Germaines Web Cam
Video
WARNING

Publishers Summary[]

The Hatta' appears.

The Hatta
You know what's got up under my skin? This rap shit. I... I likes the rap and all, but not this bullshit that you hear in between tracks on a record. Like that crap when you hear some bitch leaving a message on an answering machine.

Imitating, holding up hand as a cell phone.

Yo, baby, I love you, but like, I don't know...

Normal voice

And it goes on and on and on for, like, eighteen minutes, with some lame-ass shit. If someone left me some fool-ass message like that, I'd fucking beat them with their own phone!

Ducks down, reappears.

And another thing. Rap songs, they get up in your ear about what brand-name merchandise they got up in their crib.

Appears close to audience.

Don't give a shit. I bought this album to hear about, either life on the street, or some other fucking love gone wrong slow-jam. Not some fucking shopping list of expensive shit someone bought.

Moves to audience.

Leave that shit outside the studio. White people who act black. You know, as if black folks don't have enough problems. I mean, I'm all for white folks getting some cool image and shit, but don't go stealing our gimmick, bitch. Haven't you white folks done us enough trouble already?

Off screen.

Damn.

On screen.

I... I will say, I do like white women, though. And I know a lot of black women get on our case about dating some white chick, and they go apeshit about white ladies stealing their black men. Well, not for nothing. No black man wants to be tied down to some woman with eight kids and no job.

Ducks down, reappears.

And that's why I like the white ladies. They usually don't got kids, and they got jobs. Hell, I'd take black women again, {moving toward audience with each word} but I want to see a mother fucking paycheck! And where I come, finding a black woman with a paycheck is like finding a black man without a big... well... nevermind.

Ducks down, reappears.

I will say, I do like that Condoleezza Rice chick. Any black lady who can get into a white house {moves towards audience} must be doing something right. Yep. I'd hit that government up quicker than the president could start wars.

Off screen.

Aw, yeah.

On screen.

But... but... but... seriously, the white kids acting black, that's really gotten on my nerves. Stop it. Just stop it.

End screen appears.

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