|Drugs In Your Head|
|Producer(s)||Jonathan Ian Mathers|
|Writer(s)||Jonathan Ian Mathers|
|Animators(s)||Jonathan Ian Mathers|
|Previous Episode||Sacred Space|
|Next Episode||Unmentionable Auction|
A rant about drug users and some of their idiotic excuses for using them.
- Now this is going to be a touchy subject for all you potheads. All you fucking bastards are lobbying to legalize medicinal marijuana. I’ll tell you right now, these people do not give two shits about the medicinal benefits of medical marijuana. They just want to get high and not get bothered by the cops. That’s all it is. Don’t… let ‘em… fool you. All right.
- And I’m sick and tired of “well blah blah blah, blah blah blah blah, marijuana” and “do you know… they can make… jeans… out of hemp. Very durable clothing… can be made out of hemp.” Yeah, and it feels like fucking burlap you dumbass. Who the hell wants to walk around in something that feels like a potato sack? Maybe you do, I don’t.
- And when they usually interview the head guy at these organizations it’s usually some fucking hacky-sack playing dumbass with fucking beady little red eyes lying through their fucking teeth and giggling like an idiot.
- Don’t give me the “it’s a legitimate form of medicine.” Yeah, Great, Just what our healthcare system needs. A bunch of broke, potheads running into every fucking hospital they see trying to get free medicinal marijuana, paid for by taxpayers so they can get high Because they came up with some fucking stupid dumbass fake disease. “My eye hurts. Give me some pot, doc.” Yeah OK. You know what you do? You light up a joint and put it out in their eye. That’s my prescribed use for medicinal marijuana.
- I’m sick and tired of people saying, “Well it relieves stress.” You people are the worst. One, your weak willed. Two, you’re fucking pathetic. “Oh I had a stressful day so I gotta have some pot.” Give me a fucking break. OK, you people just can’t deal with reality and that’s your fucking problem. I don’t give two shits about, “Oh I had a stressful day”, Big fucking deal. The rest of the world had a stressful day, all right. It’s called life. Deal with it. And then they try to throw that shit right back at ya. “Well I’m sure you have some addictions, might be caffeine.” Ah yeah… all of a sudden I had a cup of coffee and I’m a fucking addict. Oh, Oh yeah cream cheese too. Look out. “Getting’ high on the cream cheese.” You fucking daft bastards.
- And since we’re on the topic of drugs, let’s move on up… To the crack heads. And all these other motherfuckers who have to deal with some kind of foreign substance just to get through the day. You know, this is the problem with society. Everybody’s gotta have to have a fucking quick fix. Why don’t you people just say, “you know what, this is life, life is not enjoyable. Fine I had a stressful day. You know what, I’m going to go home and sleep.” No. I gotta whip out the crack and have six lines. Nice. You people are pathetic and I hope you get shot in the head in a drug bust gone wrong. You want to talk about a stressful day, try having a bullet removed from your head. That is stressful.
- And don’t think I’m picking on the “illegal drug users.” What about all you fucking parents out there that are on, you know, fifteen thousand medications, For depression… for Post- whatever. Oh, “I’m not happy, maybe I’m manic depressive” Lighten up. Give me a fucking break, no one deals with their own emotions anymore. And that’s the best. These parents who lecture their children about doing pot, yet they’re swallowing a bunch of anti-depressants and chasing it with alcohol. Nice. Stop being hypocritical, you dumb bastards. You want to lecture your kids you have to be in the right position to do it. You don’t say “One moment molly, I’ve got to go get my anti-depressants and I’ll be right back to talk to you about your drug problems” Yeah… Doesn’t anybody see the irony in that? You fucking idiots.
- And it’s like the majority of America is on some kind of prescribed whatever. Like I went to the doctor and he said, “You know what you should take? You should take this and this and this. And that will take care of your runny nose of yours.” Well why don’t I just wait for my natural immune system to take over the virus and kill it. “Oh, Well I guess you could do that, but here is the prescription just in case.” Yeah Bullshit. Do you realize how many side effects there are? I swear to god, one said, side effects may include hallucinations. I’d rather have the runny nose. Fine I may have some snot on my upper lip, but at least I’m not seeing Elvis in my refrigerator. Damn it.
- And especially you fuckers that are already on this shit. Don’t try pushing it off on people who doesn’t want it. Like your kid. “Maybe bobby’s got some attention deficit disorder.” You know what. Maybe the disorder lies with the parent and not the child. OK. Take a good look in the mirror and figure it out. If you don’t know, and need help: Watch this again.
- Stop with the Drugs. Drugs in your head.