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Publishers summaryEdit

ScriptEdit

Episode opens with a human-sized female robot. Foamy is seen rewiring the robot from the back of her head. There's a cord connected to the robot and Foamy's laptop

Begley

Right, so what's all this, then?

Foamy

Uh, this thing was delivered to us by mistake.

Begley

Well, what the fuck is it?

Foamy

Um, apparently it's some sort of a Japanese sex robot. It's only desire is to please you.

Sex Robot

I am here to please you.

Begley

These Japanese are so clever

Foamy

Rewiring the robot

They should really put all of their technology, ya know, to better use, rather than wasting it on robotic handjobs.

Sex Robot

I will fuck.

Begley

Who was it posted to, anyway?

Foamy

Well, it was supposed to go to the pizza guy, but for some reason, the postal worker couldn't tell the difference between letter G and Q, so here it is.

Sex Robot

Hello.

Begley

Well, what are you doing to its head, mate?

Foamy

Rewiring the robot

I'm trying to rewire this fucking thing

Sex Robot

Neural!

Begley

Bit angrily

Oh, oh, I see. Is that why I'm here? To do the reprogramming?

Foamy

Dude, you're the tech head; I just rule here!

Begley

Angrily

Very nice. I don't show up for a fortnight, and now there's something that needs to be done. "Well, we'll call our chap Begley! He'll do all the work!" Well, fuck that, mate! I bend to no one's will!

Foamy

Irritatingly

Dude, stop being such a crumpet-sucker! There's the computer! Just reprogram the commands.

Begley

Give me one good reason why.

Foamy

Because you play a significant role in teaching someone an important lesson that technology is no substitute for humanity

Sex Robot

Boring

Begley

Right, very good, then. What do you need me to do?

Foamy

Just program its basic functions. So, ya know, instead of this thing giving someone a blowjob, have it punch him in the face!

Begley

Typing in the computer

Right.

Sex Robot

[makes another sound I can't quite make out of]

Foamy

And instead of submitting to buttsex, have it poop in their eye!

Sex Robot

Poop

Begley.

Um, can this thing really poop?

Sex Robot

Eat my poop.

Foamy

Well, it's the special "fetish edition".

Sex Robot

Doodyhead.

Begley

Typing in computer

Right.

Foamy

Also, change the, uh, foot fetish mode to "spin ramhouse" kick in the nuts!

Begley

You're one twisted wanker!

Sex Robot

Ah ah

Begley

Can I make it puke on him whenever he touches a lip?

Foamy

Go for it, dude!

Begley types some more in the computer

Sex Robot

I will explode my tits in your eyeball with poop.

Foamy

Once you're done with that, we'll work on the lactating nipples of acid!

Begley

Typing in computer

Spot on, mate. Spot on.

Sex Robot

Eat my poop, doodyhead.

End Screen appears. A drill whirring is heard.

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